i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
