uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize