I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
