6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
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