I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
