Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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