Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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