Your tits are I can't wait for
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
