Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
