even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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