i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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