I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
