I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
