I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Randomize