peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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