is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I supernannyed him into submission
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize