I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
