Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
