This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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