who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
