oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
