I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
