I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
