the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
