The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
