Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
