I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
