dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
