I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
