I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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