I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
