and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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