Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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