once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
