I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
