HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
