Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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