You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
