I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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