I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
