the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize