Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
