i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
