i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
