at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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