I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Barsexuality is the new black.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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