but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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