youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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