office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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