i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
