Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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