May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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