white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
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