i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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