You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
